Carry Your Burden

As I sat in a Zoom meeting today, I was asked the question, “What burden do you need to let go of and lay at the feet of Jesus?” We were, of course, studying Matthew 11:25-30, where Jesus says, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.”  

Well, it took a whole three seconds for me to once again acknowledge my control freak nature and write down the need to surrender my need for control in several areas- finances, my children, work, expectations, perceptions- the list goes on and on. I thought we were done. 

Then I was asked, “What do you need to pick up?” 

What?!

I thought the whole point was to lay my burdens down, but no. Verse 30 says, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

We still have a burden to carry. I still have a burden to carry. 

While it was easy to state what needed to be laid down, it was much more difficult to find a God-honoring way to pick up a different burden. So I started broad and worked my way to more specific words. 

Trust. 

Follow.

Surrender. 

Finally, I landed on the word LEAD. 

That is when the conviction hit. I have been given the incredible opportunity to lead so many different areas, but instead of leading, I have been controlling.

What’s the difference? 

Controlling is putting the pressure on myself to ensure the outcome that I want. Control is accompanied by stress, anxiety, overwhelming emotion, self-doubt, pressure, judgement and a host of other negative realities. 

Leading, however, is what it looks like to step into the call that God has placed on my life. Stepping into faithfulness, sacrifice, humility, availability, consistency and influence. 

All of the attributes of leadership still form a burden, and a heavy one at that. However, leading is more about being faithful to God and what I do and less about controlling what comes of my work. 

Early on in my Youth Ministry career, I was told, “You are responsible for showing up, for inviting and for being prepared. Whether or not students come is up to God.” Yet somewhere along the way, I have gotten caught up in the control of outcome and walked away from the leadership given to me by God and by those in authority over me. 

So as I walk into the rest of today, my prayer is that I will focus on the truth of my calling- to lead, to equip, to show up and then leave space for God to do what God wants to do in the lives of those who I am entrusted to lead. 

So my question to you is, are you controlling or are you leading? In what ways can you lay down the need for a perfect image of a “leader” and surrender to the mighty power of God? Here are some practical ways I intend to step out of control and into leadership-

1. Stop comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy. Whether you are in church ministry or corporate ministry or parenting or teaching- your outcome will be different from someone else who is in that position. Identify God’s calling and gifting on your life and walk in that. We all know that our shoes are more comfortable than someone else’s- stop trying to walk in their shoes. Embrace who God has created you to be- the leader he has called you to be. 

2. Step back. You are not at the center of the universe, your ministry, your job or your family. Let go of the reigns for a minute and see what God wants to do, look for who God wants to raise up, see who shows up without your 100 texts. Have you ever tried to open a jar of sauce and you couldn’t get the cover off and then someone came over and got it right away? What is your response, “I loosened it up for you.” But what if God is saying, stop straining and give me the jar, watch what I can do without your stress. 

3. Let Go. When you leave the situation that you are leading, don’t replay what could have been a million times. In our absence, there is more room for God to work. One of the most powerful tools in leading small groups, is the key principle of “shut up and listen.” Awkward silence is ok. Stop talking, let go of control and watch to see what God does in the hearts and minds of those around you- then give Him the glory. 

Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?” Ask yourself those questions and allow God to bring the answer to your heart. Sit in silence and ask him to help you lay down the burden of control, the need to be liked, and the desire to be admired. Then ask God what he wants you to pick up, and how He wants you to carry it. 

What I learned today is that I had the right burden, but was carrying it the wrong way.