It’s true. I have bad teeth… but you would never know by looking at me. In fact, you probably wouldn’t know unless you saw the x-rays taken by my dentist. Here’s the truth, I am at high risk for dental decay, am loaded with fillings and have 5 appointments scheduled in the next three months to have even more work done. But you’d never know- and you’d never know because if I’m being honest, I didn’t know. Sure, ice cream hurt sometimes and I definitely don’t floss as often as I should, but my teeth are pretty, so everything is fine, right?
Wrong.
Isn’t that the same as most of our lives? We are SO good at showing people the best, to the point that we don’t even realize how messed up we are on the inside. We fool ourselves into thinking that if we keep up appearances, everything will be fine. From the outside we can look good and can even fool ourselves into thinking we are, but we have those sensitive spots that suggest maybe we aren’t as strong as we want to believe we are.
Cue the concept of congruence aka integrity aka you are honest with yourself and others about what you value and believe and you reflect those beliefs through your behavior and actions.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to always operate in a congruent way? To always be living out of how you feel and to always feel how you are presenting yourself? I try to be a very real person, but there are for sure times when the “fake it till you make it” mentality kicks in. I don’t think it’s bad to sometimes push yourself, but how beautiful would life be if we were continually operating 100% in our true selves??
What do I mean by true self? Well, we are constantly either operating in our true or false self- while the true self is represented by our real feelings and desires, while the false self is a side of us that has changed its behavior, repressed feelings and pushed needs aside in order to survive.
So this is the part where I want you (and me) to get to work and evaluate some things-
- In what areas of your life are you incongruent?
- In what areas of your life are you pretending to be congruent, but you know.
- What steps can you take toward congruency/living in your true, authentic self?
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. It is easy to evaluate and then come down on ourselves for not having a perfectly congruent life, but do NOT forget that the Bible exists to speak truth over your life- even over your weaknesses!
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
This is not an excuse to live in weakness, but more a safety net for when we find ourselves out of balance. Even if you feel that you have been putting on a brave face to convince yourself and others that you are ok, you may realize of feel now that you are empty and broken.
HERE’S THE BEAUTIFUL PART. Even if you are in shambles and feel you have absolutely nothing to start your journey to congruence with… God is in the business of making something out of nothing.
Out of nothing, God created the universe
Out of no children, God made Abraham the Father of many nations.
Out of no public speaking training, God made Moses a leader.
Out of no military experience, God made David a war hero.
Out of no sexual relations, God made Mary a mother.
Out of no breath, God made Lazarus come back from the dead.
Out of no ministry training, God made Paul the greatest missionary of all time.
Out of whatever you are lacking, God can bring something beautiful.
SO, do some self evaluation, invite a friend into the process with you. Identify places of incongruence/false self in your life, then ask God’s grace to be sufficient for your weaknesses. He is able.