The number of times those words have crossed my lips, or even my thoughts is far too many to count. Running a student ministry can be filled with some glamorous moments, but the reality is that most of the time it is far from Instagram worthy. I follow a lot of student ministries on social media and have noticed a trend. We are so good at posting only what we want our students, lead pastors and parents to see. We don’t post the days when half of our students do not show up. We don’t post videos of worship when kids are on their phones instead of entering into the presence of God. We don’t post the small group photos when our kids just do not seem to be connecting with each other or with us.
We spend so much time telling students that they are loved and valued based on who God created them to be, but then we do not model that with the way we use our social media. So here are 5 things I have learned about having a strong student ministry both in reality and online.
- JESUS focus. At the end of the day, Jesus was not about being the most popular in man’s eyes. He wanted the approval of the Father. So why do we think the only way to be successful is to have a room full of students?? Sure, that’s a great bonus, but are we seeking to honor the call that God has placed on our lives?
- Intentional leaders. Our team is made up of parents, young adults and students. We think we are pretty cool, but our students assure us that we are not. However, even though we may not be able to floss very well, our students know that their leaders care about their emotional, physical and spiritual health. Some of the strongest leaders I have ever had have no idea what FortNite is, that flossing is a dance move or how to use Snapchat. They are not great because of what they know, they are great because the students know they are trustworthy and safe.
- A Safe Space. I would be lying if I said I did not look at some Instagram accounts and have student space envy. We gather in an old choir room that I’m fairly certain has more mice than I am comfortable counting. However, that space has hosted conversations that kids have been shocked to learn are allowed in the church. In our space we allow kids to ask questions about abuse, divorce, homosexuality, transgender lifestyles, suicidal thoughts, drug and alcohol use, pornography- the list goes on. I read once that kids are not walking away from the church because of the church’s stance on topics, but because the church refuses to talk about many of the things students are facing today. Let’s stop that trend, take the risk, and allow students to ask real questions and have honest discussions around the tough realities of this life.
- Consistency. Show up. When you’re tired. When you’re not feeling well. When the Bachelor premiere is on. When you feel defeated. The week after a bad small group. Even when your kids don’t. Show up at your youth group. Show up at your school. Show up in the community. Show up at games, plays, inductions, tournaments, concerts, graduations. Be present in the lives of your students inside and outside the four walls of the church.
- Genuinely love your students. Are there some kids who are a little tougher to love? Yes. Are there kids who are interested in things that you think are weird? Yes. Are there kids who you just do not understand? Yes. But here’s the truth- they are craving to be loved and cared about just like the kid that you automatically connect with without having to try. The introvert, the artist, the athlete, the loud kid, the hyper kid, the kid who comes once a year, the kid who sometimes you wish would come once a year- they all, like us, have a desire to be loved. So get over yourself and learn how to love them. Do not fake it. Actually love all students.
These points are not new, glamorous or easy, but I have found them to being the secret of a successful youth ministry. If students walk out of our environment having experienced JESUS, caring, consistent leaders, a safe space and genuine love then I consider that a great success- even though I still would love a coffee shop and new flooring.