I was driving to my counseling appointment when I got the text I’ll never forget- “How do you do it all?! You’re a superhero!” Those words made me sick to my stomach. For years I have told teenage girls that social media creates impossible realities and that they should never try to live up to the unrealistic expectation that is a perfect instagram feed, yet here I was on the other side of that reality. Somehow I had managed to navigate my social media accounts- Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and SnapChat to portray a picture perfect image that was so far from realistic.
Quickly I replied that I was far from a superhero, exposing the negative realities of trying to do it all and be it all, but it got me thinking about the image that I was showing. Do people look at my feed and think that I have it all together? Do my photos, captions and comments reveal an unrealistic, unachievable lifestyle. I never in a million years would have thought that they did, but I was hit with a very different reality that morning.
Unable to talk about anything but this conversation with my therapist, we quickly dove into the potential harm that is caused by social media’s continuous scroll, algorithms and dopamine releasing tactics. It was through that conversation that I realized that I never want to use my social media platforms to make another woman feel less than.
Rachel Hollis (IG: @msrachelhollis) once told a story in her podcast about a celebrity who acted like they had their life perfectly planned out and balanced. She explained that not only was this not a true reality, but that by saying it was, the woman had just made a mother in Ohio feel extremely insecure and full of shame. You see, when we act like we have it all together, we feed into the shame driven culture that exists. Does this mean that I am going to post every fit that my toddler throws, argument I have with my husband or moment of tension I share with my teenage daughter? Of course not! It does, however, mean that I am going to try my hardest to use this, and other social media platforms, to share an accurate description of my life.
As women, mothers, daughters, sisters and friends, the last thing we need is to read another blog about perfection or see another airbrushed photo. Again, is there anything wrong with trying to do the best we can in all the roles we have? No! I simply want to do my best not to feed into the lie that in order to be a good- whatever you are- you must be perfect all the time (or any of the time)!
If you cannot already tell, I am a huge fan of Brene Brown and all of her work on shame and vulnerability. If you haven’t had the chance to do so yet, grab a copy of her book Daring Greatly, pour yourself a cup of coffee and get ready for some life-changing words. If you have read this book- go ahead and post a comment on your biggest takeaway- I would love to know what you thought of her studies!